How to Conquer Your Fear of Speaking

How to Conquer Your Fear of Speaking – 3“What’s the matter with you?” or
Causes and 3 Choices“How many times have I told you?”
Coupled with a “yelling” tone of voice,
As professionals, we’re frequently called uponthese messages can lead to beliefs that shape a
to give both formal and informal presentationschild’s self-esteem and impact the choices
– whether to customers, colleagues, bossesthey make when trying to cope with life’s
and even board members. Some of us arechallenges. Consider the impact that a belief of
trained, readily prepared, and eagerly welcome or“I’m not good enough” could have on
create the opportunity to inform, demonstrate,a speaker as he faces a hostile audience.
persuade, inspire and motivate. Others of us run,Certainly, fear and anxiety are easy to
shirk and when absolutely necessary - squeak by.understand in light of these kinds of beliefs.
And many of us are scared to death, evenThe third type of cause is competence. In many
though we may not show it. In fact, statisticscases the difference between an average and an
show that nearly 75% of the population has aexceptional speaker is training. Effective speaking,
fear of speaking. It’s often said that when itwhile a “gift” and an art for some, comes
comes to common fears, the fear of speakingdown to learning, experience and feedback for
tops the list right up there with fear of snakes,most. Learning to buiild and deliver a compelling
spiders and death itself. As Jerry Seinfeld said,presentation requires instruction, guidance and
“The average person at a funeral wouldtime. It’s only natural that less experienced
rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”speakers will feel more anxious than accomplished
While certainly common, the fear of speaking canspeakers.
be devastating – not only to careers, but toCertainly these three types of causes may occur
relationships. Communication is the crucial bridgein any combination. An inexperienced speaker who
that connects people and when it’shas irrational fears and faulty beliefs is going to
compromised by fear, the connection is limited,have much more trouble in front of people than a
threatened and easily broken.speaker who suffers from only one of the three
The extent of this fear runs along a continuumconditions.
from normal and mild to severe and debilitating.But there is hope. Any of these causal conditions
Most everyone feels a bit nervous when gettingcan be changed – and if not totally, at least to
up in front of audience or making an importantsome degree. Here’s how.
presentation even if it’s only to a few peoplePhobias can be managed through certain forms of
– if those people can impact thetherapy and medication. One approach that has
speaker’s success. And this slightbeen effective for many people with a fear of
nervousness is easily managed and overcomespeaking is called Virtual Reality Training. Using this
once the presentation gets underway –method, the individual is exposed to the feared
especially when the speaker is well prepared withsituation over and again in the absence of any real
a point and a purpose. But towards the severedanger. To manage the fear of speaking, the
end of the continuum, the anxiety can beperson faces, talks to and gives presentations to
overwhelming and the physical manifestations cana virtual audience. The trained practitioner controls
be significant – including impact on bloodthe reactions of the virtual audience using
pressure, heart rate, muscle weakness, flushedspecialized computer software. With repeated
skin, sweaty hands and more.exposure, the fear and anxiety diminish helping
Much has been written about the fear ofthe person face real audiences with more
speaking. And various practitioners, ranging fromcomfort and confidence. For more information
self-proclaimed experts to highly trainedabout this type of treatment, contact me at
professionals, offer methods and remedies to helpWhen faulty beliefs are the cause, the beliefs can
speakers overcome it. From an overviewbe targeted and essentially replaced with new and
perspective, there are three primary causes –more healthy beliefs. This approach is based on
any one of which (or in combination) that lead tothe notion that beliefs are just that – beliefs.
the fear of speaking.You can’t see them, you can’t feel them,
The first type of cause is an anxiety disorderand you can’t show them to anyone else.
– leading to a phobia. A phobia is defined as anThey exist only in your head. The objective is to
irrational, intense fear of an object or situationget them out of your head so they don’t
that poses little or no actual danger. At firstbother you anymore and then to replace them
glance, a phobia may seem similar to a normalwith healthy beliefs that are based in reality. This
fear. It is the degree to which a person isapproach is now available through a self-study
affected that determines whether that fear hasDVD program and has been validated as effective
become a phobia. The fear of speaking is a typethrough university research. For more information,
of social phobia – a fear of being embarrassedcontact me at
in public. The key to both understanding andFear of speaking that stems from inexperience is
treating a phobia is recognizing that while the fearrelatively easy to overcome simply by learning
and anxiety can be intense and “real”,how to speak effectively. There are many
there is little or no actual danger. There is nothingoptions including classroom training, public seminars
in the situation that can actually harm the personand corporate programs. A new option is now
who is experiencing the anxiety. There is noavailable that enables learners to develop their
snake that will bite, no ladder that will fall, no gunspeaking skills through self-study. It is a
that will shoot, etc. The danger is not real –multi-media program (making use of speech
only imagined. Getting up in front of an audience,instrumentation, CDs, DVDs, and a professional
for a person who has a fear of speaking is notlibrary)  that allows learners to systematically
imaginary. What is imaginary is the danger thatmeasure and develop their presentation skills in
the speaker believes lurks in the room. There isthe privacy of their own home or office. For
no real danger – at least nothing that themore information about this learning method, visit
speaker couldn’t be trained to handle.Speaking effectively is critical to connecting with
The second type of cause is faulty beliefs. Thepeople, to professional development and to building
person who has a fear of speaking may believeand sustaining fulfilling relationships. When fear of
that they are incapable or not good enough.speaking gets in the way, personal and
These beliefs can often be traced back toprofessional success can be tragically
situations in their past where their parents treatedcompromised.  This article has provided a basis
them in ways that made them doubt themselvesfor understanding the causes of this fear and
and feel incapable. For example, imagine thesome choices that are readily available to help just
impact on a young child who repeatedly hears,about anyone speak with comfort and confidence.