| Listen up, people. | | | | hundreds of millions in ad revenue each year. |
| Homework assignment for all marketers and | | | | They carry the water for the networks. |
| copywriters here. | | | | So the producers leave their egos and their |
| Here's the story: For eons, almost every top | | | | "common sense" out of all decisions. |
| copywriter willing to spill secrets about writing killer | | | | They do what they do because they see that it |
| ads has revealed a common sordid fact - the | | | | works. They count up the ratings, and test |
| headlines of the tabloids like the National Enquirer | | | | everything in painful detail. |
| are among the best study materials around. | | | | So, what works? First - as I've been saying for |
| It's a standard part of my speech at seminars. | | | | years now - it's all about personality. |
| Check out the tabs. You'll discover what America | | | | Not hard news. Celebrity, slander, silliness and |
| is really interested in. | | | | outrageous social behavior. The run-away bride, |
| Tabloids still outsell "real" newspapers and | | | | the lost kids, the latest blonde murder |
| magazines by astronomical numbers. It's not even | | | | investigation, Michael Jackson's passing... the stories |
| a contest. | | | | closer to UFO landings than earnest Senate |
| And the headline writers pay very close attention | | | | committee reports. |
| to what boosts sales. They are wired into the | | | | That's what opens the profit pumps. |
| national psyche. | | | | And yes, it works for male-dominated markets |
| You'd have to be nuts to skip this mini-education | | | | just as well. Even your staid old CEO perks up |
| on word-to-sales truth. So what if your spouse is | | | | when a celebrity walks by (or self-destructs on |
| embarrassed when you pick up the latest Weekly | | | | the national stage). |
| World News (the one with the "Cannibal fetus | | | | Now, just as I warn seminar audiences... this |
| chews through Mom" headline). | | | | doesn't mean you need to start referring to Bat |
| No one ever said advertising was nice work. | | | | Boy or Sasquatch in your next online posting. |
| Sometimes you end up facing dark and disturbing | | | | What it means is that... again... the best written |
| insight into the mind of your fellow man. | | | | headlines are NOT boring, pedantic recitations of |
| Ah, the power of words. | | | | the facts. |
| Other veteran copywriters who cop to scouring | | | | Rather... the best are attention-jarring wake-up |
| the tabs: Gary Halbert, Gene Schwartz, Gary | | | | calls to your prospect's brain. |
| Bencivenga, Jeff Paul, Dan Kennedy, David | | | | There's an old saw in marketing that goes like this: |
| Deutsch, Michel Fortin... the list goes on forever. | | | | First, sell them what they want. You can sell them |
| And yet... rookie writers remain skeptical. | | | | what they need later. |
| Like we're kidding them or something. "Ha, ha, ha, | | | | What that means is simple - it's a much easier |
| you top writers are all alike! So quit with the | | | | path to offer something your prospect is already |
| tabloid jokes already!" | | | | predisposed to like. Trying to educate him on why |
| All right. Don't believe me. | | | | he needs what you have is a losing proposition. |
| Instead, believe the top television shows in | | | | However, once you've established that you can |
| existence. | | | | deliver what he wants, he will begin to trust you. |
| Really...it won't kill you to go buy an actual | | | | And you can THEN start the process of working |
| magazine for once in your virtual life - but the | | | | him into the more complex relationship where you |
| candid truths revealed are just gold for savvy | | | | give him what you clearly know he needs. |
| marketers. | | | | It's the same with headlines. You have a split |
| The audience for these shows are 70% female... | | | | second to get his attention, and you won't do it |
| just like most general markets in the economy... | | | | by trying to educate him. |
| and thus, there are "rules" that must be followed | | | | Instead, go in through the already-open door in his |
| for success. These rules aren't made up - they | | | | brain - the door that is ALWAYS open to |
| were realized, after fifty years of testing, and | | | | anything fun, or gossipy, or titillating. Or that |
| paying VERY close attention. | | | | makes him do the "whaaaaaaa?" double-take. |
| See, these morning shows like "The View" earn | | | | It's the fastest way to bump the numbers. |